At the age of 28 I was divorced twice and raising a ten year old daughter. I wondered if I would ever trust to be in another relationship. I looked at my two failed marriages trying to figure out what went wrong. There was only one thing that was the common factor, it was me. I spent the next 19 years waiting and looking for my princess charming. I kissed a lot of frogs during those years knowing how uncertain I trusted myself and my own judgment. Over time God worked on my heart and in my life to transform me into a wife worthy of the man that I would one day meet and marry.
Will & I developed a friendship and bond that just could not seem to be broken even though we both brought a truck load of baggage into our relationship. With four failed marriages between us, we both knew that we wanted to get this one right. We studied the Bible, we prayed together, we listened to teachings on marriage and family. We spent time discussing every aspect of life and every possible issue that could arise in a marriage. After all we had plenty of examples of what could cause problems in a marriage.
Even though our wedding was simple and low key, it was my fairy tale dream come true. We went on a fabulous honeymoon and created some wonderful memories. My friends and family were so excited and happy for us. They were great times for us, full of blessing and favor. The only thing left was to bring our children into our dream world. What I soon found out was that my fairy tale dream was their nightmare and I was the wicked stepmother. How had I gone from being Cinderella to the Wicked Stepmother?
Even though I had learned to understand relationships from everyone’s perspective, I had not anticipated the reaction I received from my four new step-children and their mothers. I soon realized the children have a deep seated bond with their mothers and are very protective and loyal to her. I thought I could help them rekindle their relationship with their dad, all they needed was someone who loved and adored him as I did. I wanted what everybody wants; an intact family with as few complications as I can get away with. Now how do I explain the lack of any kind of relationship between us and our children? But rather than trying to force relationships with others who never invited me into their fairy tale, I focus on enjoying a healthy marriage and growing our friendship and bond. I understand how important self-care is because there are those who hope for my failure and demise.
My happily ever after is not a perfect picture of what I had dreamed of but I have found a life full of love, friendship, commitment and intimacy. My new marriage has withstood greater trials than I could have ever imagined so our vows have been tested and have endured. Step-parenting is not what dreams are made of but with lots of patience, understanding, forgiveness and love I have a life and marriage that is fulfilling and satisfying.